What Will Rob Gronkowski Be for Halloween?

By Jason Buettner
October 26, 2012 12:02 am
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This is his Jam!

With Halloween weekend approaching many of us our super stoked to show off our imaginative and creative costumes.  Some of us, put a ton a thought into the project and have been prepping and preparing for months. Learning how to sow, finding extremely difficult pieces of apparel, coordinating with others to make sure they are still going as the designated person they were assigned a month ago.

Others have simply gone to their local Halloween stores and bought a cheap but effective store bought costume. While others just don't give a crap, these people will show up to the party or bar in regular street clothes and assume they can still take partake in the festivities without a costume.

Well, whether you're heading off to a theme party, hosting your kids Halloween party (have fun with that), or trick or treating, one things that football fans will have on there minds this weekend should be, what is New England superstar tight end Rob Gronkowski going to dress up as?

Gronkowski seems like the type of guy that would embrace Halloween. He seems like the type of lad who, back in college, this was his Christmas. He would show up to the loudest most elaborate party in some type of elaborate costume, ready to tear the house down (and I mean dance his face off by that phrase).  

So without further adieu, here are the top five costumes you may see "Gronk" show up at the party this year.

5.) Himself- Just in case Gronkowski lacks creativity, this would be cheap, effective and easy.  I am not talking about Gronkowski just showing up to a party in jeans and a T-shirt (that will eventually come off once he "hears his jam"), nope I am talking full football gear. Shoulder pads, Knee and thigh pads, eye-black, jersey and helmet.  He will come as a full fledged football player, which he already is.  The good news about this costume, is once Rob does "hear his jam" the helmet and jersey will become souvenirs for party bystanders, there is a fifty-percent chance he will dance with the shoulder pads on. This costume idea might be a problem come game day when he searches for his helmet and jersey however.

4.) Blind Referee- It's a costume that could draw a fine if any photos got leaked on the twitter-verse.  It's just a simple referee uniform with the additions of big dark sunglasses and a walking cane.  On the plus side Gronkowskie is showing he stands behind his coach Bill Belichick who went after a replacement official to give him a piece of his mind, also Gronk can hook up with any sexy female referees that might be patrolling the party.  Also, the walking stick can totally be used as a dancing prop once he "hears his jam."

3.) Super Man (Gronkowski)- Faster than wide receivers, more powerful than a linebacker, able to leap over most defensive backs in a single bound, he is....Super Gronkowski.  Oh man, he could totally pull this off.  He's got the physic to be able to wear the whole suit and tights, along with the cape.  If he really wanted to be creative, he could replace the "S" with a "G."

2.) Dirk Digler- Give this man some bell-bottoms, platform shoes, a long sleeved button-up flower shirt that is open at the top two buttons, some playmates for arm candy, and a kicking 70's soundtrack and Rob or (Dirk) will be ready to groove.  It's a costume that fits his personality, fun loving, good times seeking, fond of the porn actress, and lover of the dance. I am thinking, given the right situation, this man could easily win a 70's themed disco dancing contest against any fool that may be dressed as John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever.

1.) Ivan Drago- Ah, the villain from Rocky IV, the man who took out Apollo Creed (literally).  In the 1980's Drago was the antithesis of what Americans feared about Russian. Big, strong, powerful, probably on steroids, but it turned out that Drago could be taken down, just like the real country I suppose.  ANYWAYS, Gronkowski looks almost exactly like Dolph Lundgren. Just give him some boots, shorts with the Russian flag and some red boxing gloves and he's set.  The bad news is, he may have a hard time grabbing anything at the party with the gloves on, but his shirt is already off, so when the dancing commences, he's all set, just has to maintain a thick Russian accent the entire night.

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By Jason Buettner
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