After weeks of trying, I have finally been able to steal Jeff Sperber’s crystal ball from him. It is a very awkward toy, but cool nonetheless.
Let’s take a look at what it has to say about the 2012 Tennessee Titans.
Bud Adams Gone Mad
The Tennessee Titans have been in the spotlight over the past week or so due to Bud Adams’ interest in Peyton Manning. Manning will sign somewhere other than Tennessee, they will lose in Week 1 and in Week 2 Mr. Adams will have another episode from the press box and flip off all of the fans. He will proceed to sell the team, run to a deserted island and never be seen again.
Chris Johnson Asks For a Raise
After whining and complaining about his contract last offseason and finally getting what he wanted, Johnson proceeded to have an average at best season in 2011. He will finish the 2012 season with one more yard, one more carry and one more touchdown than he had in 2011 and use the logic “more production = more money”.
Johnson asks the new owner for more money, gets turned down, balls his eyes out at a press conference and gets thrown in jail for stealing a pair of gold grillz.
Jake Locker to Canada
Caught up in the drama between Bud Adams and Chris Johnson, Locker wants out of Tennessee as fast as possible. He feels that it would be rude to demand a trade so he signs a contract with the Saskatchewan Roughriders of the Canadian Football League and leads the league in every major passing category. Due to how bad the rest of the team is, Locker will lose to the Toronto Argonauts in the Grey Cup 52-49 despite throwing for six touchdown passes and rushing for one.
Trade for Cortland Finnegan
As the Titans have pursued Peyton Manning, they have also lost their No. 1 cornerback, Cortland Finnegan. While Finnegan is overrated, Bud Adams does not see it that way and offers the Rams a first, second and third-round pick in 2013 to get him back. The new owner asks Finnegan to restructure his contract; he refuses and is traded back to the Rams for a conditional seventh-round pick.
Donald Trump Takes Over
After a season that sees the Titans finish 4-12, Donald Trump purchases the team during the offseason. Jake Locker returns from Canada and becomes the co-owner. Trump then releases just about everyone on the roster and has 50 players to sign from the CFL, AFL, IFL, UFL, LFL and in free agency.