By Patrick Imig
Cold Hard Football Facts' top commodity in the field of commodity analysis ...
Question: how much tea could Tim Tebow brew if he was doing Taebo in his Tim Tebow jersey and Tim Tebow shoes?
Tim Tebow tongue twisters are lame. I hate Tim Tebow. No, I don't really. Just had to get rid of some of the Tebow hysteria I contracted after living for the past 72 hours. All better now. Deep breaths.
Sunday, Tebow did something that John Elway only did twice during his illustrious career: lead a comeback victory after trailing by two touchdowns in the 4th quarter. This fact was pointed out by our resident Tebowologist
hours after the crazy comeback. Since then, the demand for Tebow has soared way past levels analysts originally projected.
Tebow is one of our most precious football commodoties and resources. For example, you can purchase Tim Tebow's pants
for $5,000 on Ebay. But you already knew that. What you didn't know is that Tebow's pads might be next according to our laws of demand ...
Poor Aaron Rodgers. If only a 125 passer rating had as much value as it did 20 years ago.
Unfortunately, it's a Tebow eat Tebow world out there which means not all demand results in positivity. For example, Tebow hatred is out there. It exists. I've seen it I tell ya!
For links to those stories, simply click the pictures. And for a link to a story about LeBron James being 'crucified'
for congratulating Tebow on Twitter, yeah, you get the idea. Support Tebow unless you want to suffer the consequences, people.
AND YE SHALL NOT OPPOSE TIM TEBOW IN PUBLIC
Hulk Hogan called out Tebow on ESPN a few weeks ago when he ripped the Tebow jersey in half
. It was the same act Hogan has been doing since he won the heavyweight championship from the Iron Shiek in 1984. It was a shrewd pr stunt on Hogan's part, who is only capable of accomplishing such buzz outside the ring at this point. Hogan's apparent "attack" on Tebow left CBS' Greg Gumbel with a few things to say
during Week 7.
This plays into one of the five Tim Commandments. They are ...
5. Ye shall wear eye black to spread the news
4. Ye shall proclaim him a 'grinder' and 'winner'
3. Ye shall not oppose Tim Tebow in public
2. Ye shall not covet Tebow's ex-girlfriend (hardest one to practice)
1. Ye shall not take the Tebow's name in vain
AN INSTITUTION OF FACT
Slate says Tebow is the football establishment's worst nightmare
. Not so sure about that, but he's definitely a media dream, one way or another.
SB Nation says Tebow is an American Institution
. While it seems crazy, it is true that Tebow represents and brings out so many facets of American life -- regardless how long he's been around or how long he'll last.
And the Cold Hard Football Facts say Tebow did something John Elway only did twice in his 16 year career. We're crazy like that, veering off into football tangents about football topics and what not.
WE MUST DIGRESS FOR A SECOND
And throw a Pigskin Detention flag to Fox's John Lynch for incorrect use of words. During Dallas' 34-7 stomping of the Rams, Lynch said Rams quarterback Sam Bradford has "digressed" in his second season. While there is probably some truth to that (maybe Bradford told a long-winded story with winding tangents, for example), there is no doubt Lynch intended to say Bradford has "regressed" in his second year.
The intended word was picked off and Lynch is assessed a Pigskin Detention penalty. First down. Time out.
ONE MORE DIGRESSION
According to many of the pundits, Week 7 was the coming out party for DeMarco Murray. And you know what? They were right. Here's a copy of the invitation that was sent out after the game. Why send out a party invitation after the party has taken place? Because you can never guarantee when a coming out party will occur, obviously.
The Denver Post has contracted Grade 1 Tebow Malaria. Check out the sidebar of stories outlined in the red shell.
The Wall Street Journal ponders a question which knows no limits:
We don't have a definitive answer for that question, but we do recognize one notion as fact: in times of disaster, we'd much rather put our money on Tebow than Palmer.
Pigskin Detention is written by Patrick Imig. He recommends large quantites of canned goods, bottled water and plenty of Tebow to survive disaster. Tweet him @patrickimig or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.