Peyton Manning towel boy Pete Prisco of CBS Sportsline fears the awesome power of the Cold, Hard Football Facts and declined our invitation to an online debate. We challenged this limp-wristed, yellow-bellied she-man to a winner-take-all, no-facts-barred, Texas steelcage death debate to determine the best quarterback in football: Tom Brady or Peyton Manning.
Prisco's refusal was stunning in its ignorance and arrogance and, of course, in its complete and utter lack of Cold, Hard Football Facts to back up his argument. Watch his gelatinous spine quiver as he attempts to talk his way out of facing the Facts. The text of our original challenge also appears below.
Write to Prisco (we believe his direct e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org). Demand that he face the facts!
Pete Prisco of CBS Sportsline is an ignorant Peyton Manning buttswab. Prisco believes Manning is the best quarterback in football and he spins his insidious web of ignorance whenever he gets the opportunity. In the process, he befouls the minds of innocent young football fans all across this vast, pigskin-loving land.
Prisco's ignorance has gone unchallenged far too long. But the Cold, Hard Football Facts plan to put an end to this ruthless abuse of unchecked authority. We're throwing down the gridiron gauntlet, and we need your help to make it happen. Voice your support: Demand that Prisco meet his pigskin maker on the field of online battle.
We're challenging CBS Sportsline's top football "pundit" to go Prisco-a-mano in a no-facts-barred, Texas steelcage death debate to determine once and for all the best quarterback in football: Fraud Peyton Manning or Glorious Symbol of Victory Tom Brady. Here's how you can help. Write to Prisco and demand that he face the Cold, Hard Football Facts in this online debate. The Cold, Hard Football Facts believe Prisco's direct e-mail address is email@example.com.
Here are the rules of the debate, as proposed by the Cold, Hard Football Facts.
* The debate will be broadcast LIVE on Prisco's home turf, CBSsportsline.com.
* Each man gets a 150-word opening statement.
* Each man gets two opportunities to rebut the other.
* Each man will answer two random questions from you, the online, football-loving public.
* The winner of the debate will be determined democratically, by America's online community of football fans. You'll see the debate as it unfolds, and declare the winner the old-fashioned way: One man, one vote.
* If Prisco wins the debate, the Cold, Hard Football Facts promise not to speak ill of Peyton Manning until after he chokes in the playoffs later this season. If the Cold, Hard Football Facts win the debate, Prisco will admit that Tom Brady is the best quarterback in football and will promise to stop polluting the planet with his toxic pile of Peyton Manning wasteproduct.
Rest assured. The Cold, Hard Football Facts will shove so much data down Prisco's throat that he'll be incapable of uttering ever again the words "Peyton Manning" and "great quarterback" in the same sentence. Again, write to Prisco and demand that he face the Facts!