By Pat Imig
Cold, Hard Football Facts Man of the Match
Seems like the manufcatured "outrage" over HardHitGate
will be an ongoing story throughout the 2010 season. Pigskin Detention will cover the story tightly ... well, until we draw a penalty for being a big old meanie.
NFL POLICE PRESENT: THE BIG HIT DOUBLE STANDARD
"Hit him before he hits you. If I can find a way to hurt him before he hurts me, that's alright."
The man who said this was:
B) Titans defensive coordinator Chuck Cecil
C) Hall of Fame safety Ronnie Lott
D) Jaguars RB Maurice Jones-Drew
The correct answer is "D," Maurice Jones-Drew, who made the statement last week on ESPN's Monday Night Countdown.
So if a running back openly states he wants to hurt his opponent before the opponent hits him and then goes on the field and leads with his helmet while bowling over a linebacker, will the act draw a flag?
Of course not.
Will the act draw a fine? Of course not.
Will the NFL have a problem adding two more games to the regular season? Of course not.
These are the things that confound the hall monitors of Pigskin Detention.
TREY WINGO FOR SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE
As the principal of Pigskin Detention, I would like to publicly recognize Trey Wingo for his outstanding work this past week on NFL Live. Working with Merril Hoge and Trent Dilfer is a daunting task to be sure, but it seems to be having no ill effects on Wingo.
Here's how the host describes the state of the Cowboys: "In summation, the 2010 season for the Dallas Cowboys: excessive celebration penalties ... 2 ... wins 1."
That's the kind of Cold, Hard Football fact we don't normally discover on the mock football field in Bristol, CT. Well done, Trey.
Bonus points to Wingo for taking shots at his colleague Dilfer's spelling acumen: "You don't even know how to spell DVR".
Well done again, Trey. There will be a complimentary Star-Crunch snack with your name on it in the ESPN cafeteria all week long.
CONFIRMED: JAGUARS PASS DEFENSE A BIG WHORE
Even with a respectable 171 passing yards allowed Monday against the Titans, the Jaguars pass defense allowed two touchdowns through the air. They are tied with the most hospitable Houston secondary for allowing the most touchdown passes
in the league (14).
The very thought of throwing the football through the plush, soft Jacksonville secondary put former quarterbacks Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden in a state of euphoria Monday night.
Said Jaworski: "If I'm Vince Young, I'm studying the tape going, 'Uh oh; that looks real juicy.'"
And if I'm Jaworski, I acknowledge that I watch NFL game film like a collection of pornography. I am not Jaws, however, so forget I even went there.
Let us now exploit those who exploit the exploited.
"The Titans are loosening up the Jaguars secondary." - Gruden
"It's a Jaguars secondary that everyone has exploited this season." - Jaws
Then Titans starting quarterback Vince Young falls to injury and the teams is forced to bring in the veteran, Kerry Collins. This is non-issue, for the Titans and for Jaws and Gruden.
"Kerry Collins is in shape. He was stroking it well." – Jaws
When you're in shape, you can stroke it with the best of 'em.
"(Kerry) just tried to stroke one in there; a lot of steam on it!" – Jaws
When the strokes produce steam it can really loosen up that pass defense. But what about that run defense?
"That's a loaded box if there ever was one." – Gruden
While we're at it, let's get some thoughts on Maurice Jones-Drew, who has a little something on Kerry Collins with that whole in-shape thing:
"This guy's got impressive lower body strength. I'd really like to see him get heated up tonight." – Gruden
Gruden and Jaws: two football analysts in pigskin utopia.
Headlines you may have missed in the mainstream sports press:
"Favre vows to wear Wrangler's around ankles during next private photo session"
"Source: Jack Del Rio will wear suit during last day as head coach"
"Federal government seizes NFL fine allotment to curb national deficit"
"Gruden's Corona Light bus welcomed at the border"
"NFL fines Eminem for hit on the Billboard Charts"