By Pat Imig
Cold, Hard Football Facts' comic book character assassin
Jay Cutler is a disgusting human being.
Not really. But he sure is fun to rip on. He has always has been fun to rip on. Jay Cutler came into the league wearing a bowl cut -- people with bowl cuts are funny. And players who bash their former fans and former teams are magnets for criticism. So, too, are quarterbacks who throw off their back foot and compete with a surly, sour look on their face.

Jay Cutler has proven to be all these things. And this is his story.

At the 2006 NFL Scouting Combine, Jay Cutler's approval rating hit an all-time high. He aligned himself with the media to create his own promotion machine, approximately eight weeks before the draft. The following is from Patrick Imig's (now retired) Monday Morning Memo column, published March 6, 2006.

To give you some background, Vince Young and Matt Leinart skipped out on public workouts at the scouting combine. Jay Cutler, he who went 11-35 as a starter at the University of Vanderbilt, seized the opportunity and media spotlight. 

Example A - Jay Cutler, on Jay Cutler: "With Matt and Vince not working out, the spotlight wasn't going to be on them. It was going to have to go somewhere else. That was the reason I wanted to step up and throw and get some of that media attention and kind of ride that wave a little bit ... you want to try to keep your name positive in the media as much as possible up until the draft."

Example B - Sean Payton, on Jay Cutler: The coach of the Saints said Cutler reminded him of a young Brett Favre.

Example C. Jay Cutler, on Jay Cutler: "Someone just said to me Mel Kiper was saying I was the most overhyped guy in the draft so far. You get to the top, then people start picking at you. That's what happened with Vince and Matt."

So basically, Jay Cutler admits that he took center stage at the combine simply to gain positive media attention and enhance his value. He had the right to do it, obviously. But with most pro quarterbacks, you want to hear them talk about "team" and "competing" and "winning."
Jay Cutler also annointed himself as the "top guy" by referring to himself as such. He also got a BrettFavre compliment, which is funny when you think about Cutler's knee and Favre's ability to start 300 consecutive games. In his defense, there is no evidence that Jay Cutler sends pictures of his penis via text messages.

After listening to Michael Bolton's "How am I Supposed to Live Without You" on repeat following the dismissal of Mike Shanahan, Cutler had a spat with his new head coach, Josh McDaniels. Cutler's inability to trust his head coach (something about leaving the cap off the toothpaste) resulted in a trade to Chicago for Kyle Orton and Kyle Orton's neckbeard

After one preseason game in Chicago, Jay Cutler endeared himself to, well, nobody, really. He called out his new teammate, Devin Hester, when he politely blamed him for an interception which Cutler underthrew during the August 15 2009 preseason game against the Bills.
Here's what he said ...

"You know, Devin is more of a go-get-it guy, he's not really a back shoulder, or jump up and get it. You learn from it. We made some mistakes. It's the first preseason game, luckily enough we have some time to correct them and keep going."

Cutler continued ...

"He's going to get a lot of balls. You know he was in position to get some tonight. They played a lot of single high [safety], they pressed him a little bit. It's just how it goes. He might not get as many next week."

Wow. Great leadership from the new Bears starting quarterback, Jay Cutler! Gotta love it when a quarterback takes no accountability for a ball he threw. 

And isn't it a delicious slice of irony that Jay Cutler overthrew Devin Hester on two occasions in the NFC championship game? Both would have been touchdowns. It stands to reason that Cutler's last game Sunday should end the way it did since his first started with an underthrown ball.
Back to the 2009 preseason: Cutler mouthed off about Denver Broncos fans.

"In Denver, we didn't have this many fans at all. We weren't even able to accommodate that many fans [at practice]. That's Chicago Bears fans for you. They're proud of their Bears ... Denver's like a 6 and Chicago's like a 9. It's quite a bit different. Just the fans and how passionate they are, that's probably the biggest difference."

We hate to be the bearers of bad news, Jay, but Chicago fans are going to be a 0 if you take the field wearing a Bears uniform in 2011.

Cutler finished 2009 with a career high 27 touchdowns - and career high 26 interceptions. 
In 2010, he decreased his interceptions by 10 and increased his passer rating from 76.8 to 86.3. He was also sacked 52 times, more than any passer in football. Holy crap that's a lot of quarterback sacks. 
As was noted yesterday on the CHFF Twitter page, Jay Cutler took more sacks this year than Jenna Jameson in "Chinese Tea Party."

Even with his statistically improved play, you knew it was going to end badly. Also in the know: Michael Strahan and Terrell Owens. A few days before the NFC championship on the T.OCHO Show, Owens described Cutler as "color blind" due to his knack for throwing to the wrong jersey.
And Michael Strahan said of Cutler: "If he gets under pressure, he'll just start slinging that sucker around like free loaves of bread in the 'hood."
show video here

You can't make this stuff up, folks. 

And with it, a social media attack of Biblical proportions!!!

Dan Wetzel recommends stocking up on eggs, milk and canned goods if the threat-level of a social media attack reaches orange. And we recommend that Jay Cutler reunite with Mike Shanahan in Washington, D.C. to make this sad-sack story crafted by the Football Gods complete. 

It's your move, Redskins.

Pigskin Detention is written by Patrick Imig. Email him at or find him on Facebook.