NFL White Elephant: The Top 10 Gag Gifts Of 2012

By David Guidera
December 05, 2012 10:43 am
939 Views 4 Comments

Fail MaryA White Elephant gift exchange—also known as a Yankee Swap, Dirty Santa, Grinch Exchange, Chinese Grab Bag, etc.—is based on the Thai expression for something perceived to be valuable that ends up costing more than it is worth. You might open a box with winning lotto tickets or you might open a box full of tchotchke crap.

We all know the “Fail Mary” call that ended the replacement refs forgettable run, but the return of the regular refs was such a Trojan Horse it was far too obvious to make this list.

Beware: I think I hear something scratching in that 80-inch flat screen box...

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By David Guidera
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Previous Comments (4)

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2 years ago
Brilliant!! That is hilarious!!
2 years ago
Great! Now that was inspired writing. But what? No Adderall?
2 years ago

Aw crap that slipped my mind.

Honorable Mention: Positive drug tests.

Since the new collective bargaining agreement bars the league from reporting what substance players tested positive for when they fail drug tests, Adderall is suddenly the reported drug of choice.

Richard Sherman: “Yo Brandon, what did you get popped for?”

Brandon Browner: "I dunno dude, purple drank? Andro cream? Industrial glue? Some of my ol’ lady’s Midol? That was a crazy party dude…"

Richard Sherman: “Yeah. Aqib told me to just say it was Adderall, accept the suspension and then get traded to a team that actually has a shot to win it all.”

Brandon Browner: sniff “You had me at ‘Aqib’ bro. You had me at ‘Aqib.’”
2 years ago

Now that's more like it. Hey, Aqib is just a victim too.

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