#MusicMonday has returned!  In case you're new to my fabulous little column, I go through every Monday and recap/breakdown some of the weekend's more important story lines and set them to some tasty (and topical!) tunes. 

The idea comes from Twitter where everyone would add the hashtag #MusicMonday or #MM to find new bands and artists.  I don't know if I'll necessarily introduce you to anything new, but maybe you'll rediscover some classic tunes. And, as always, if you have any musical suggestions, feel free to add on. 


RGIII dominates, the other rookies struggle

Robert Griffin III looked like a man amongst boys, putting all of his elite talents on display en route to an easy victory.  My enormous man-crush that I developed for Cam Newton last year pales in comparison to how giddy I am to watch RG3.  The rest of the rookies were a mix of bad (Ryan Tannehill) okay (Andrew Luck, Russell Wilson) and poop sandwich (Brandon Weeden).

Song: You're The Best by Joe Esposito 

Relevant lyrics: THE ENTIRE SONG (side note: the website I used to look up the lyrics to this included "INSPIRING GUITAR SOLO" in the middle of the lyrics. Inspiring indeed.)

 

Peyton Manning didn't skip a beat

Manning 3:16!  The more things change, the more they stay the same.  NBC even had a radar gun on his passes last night and after a year off and several risky neck procedures, his fastball was still clocking around 49 MPH.  I'm sorry, Tim who?

Song: Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J

Relevant lyrics: "...don't call it a comeback!"

 

The Crappiest Game of the Year

9 turnovers, quarterbacks were a combined 41/91, fumbles, dropped passes, bungled coaching moves and only 33 combined points.  Uncle. 

Song: Grown So Ugly by The Black Keys

Relevant lyrics: "She said my man's been gone since 19-and-42, I tell you Mr. Ugly; He didn't look like you"

 

New York Jets: Ehh?

Terrible quarterback controversy after trading for Tim Tebow, who apparently is the backup and personal protector and wide receiver and...who the hell knows.  Only one touchdown in the preseason and irrational leg-humping by the four-letter network all Summer long. So naturally they detonate the Buffalo Bills to open the season.

Song: Loca People by Sak Noel

Relevant lyrics: "La gente esta muy loca, What the f---!?"

 

San Francisco 49ers: On a Mission

The 49ers looked like a team ready to put last year's NFC Championship game disappointment behind them and take the next step forward.  They played physical, capitalized on every opportunity that was given to them and made the Packers bend to their will.  Plus, Randy Moss is alive!  

Song: Hurt Conveyor by Fear Factory 

Relevant lyrics: "I force my way, I force my way, I force my way inside your head"

 

Fantasy Killers - Chris Johnson, Michael Vick, Matthew Stafford 

Yikes. Bad week if you owned these gentlemen and there are reasons to be concerned that the first game was not an aberration: running backs tend to get less effective with age, injury concerns with all of them and the distinct possibility these players will never get near the lofty expectations their fans have set for them 

Song: Mr. Self-Destruct by Nine Inch Nails

Relevant lyrics: "I take you where you want to go, I give you all you need to know. I drag you down I use you up, Mr. Self-Destruct"

 

The Death of Monday Night Football

Sunday Night Football on NBC is definitely the boss when it comes to prime time games and this shift happened as soon as Monday Night Football was relegated to cable in favor of Dancing with the Stars.  There are still good games on occasionally but mostly we're treated to snoozefests like the Chargers-Jaguars or Chiefs-Steelers where one team has absolutely nothing on the line and there are few marketable stars. 

Song: Black Country Woman by Led Zeppelin 

Relevant lyrics: "Hey, hey, mama, what's the matter here 

You didn't have to make me a total disgrace 

You didn't have to leave me with that beer in my face 

Hey, hey, mama, what's the matter here 

That's alright, it's awful dog-gone clear"

 

The NFL Whitewash of the Replacement Refs

Have you noticed how little is being said by broadcasters, coaches, players, media types, etc. about the terrible replacement refs?  There's probably an NFL representative standing behind everyone menacingly with a holstered sidearm casually in view of anyone who might tell the fans how terrible the situation is in reality.   

Song: Master of Puppets by Metallica

Relevant lyrics: "Come crawling faster, Obey your Master. Your life burns faster, obey your Master, Master"