Poe-no. I can’t believe it. I’m still waiting for someone to wake me up and tell me this was a big fat (pun intended) joke. KC had the perfect chance to nab a player every single person who’s heard of football thinks will be a decade long Pro Bowler. They should have been licking their chops at the thought of picking Stanford guard David DeCastro or at the worst possible case, Mississippi State DT Fletcher Cox. Instead Kansas City stepped up to the plate and with a big fat eaffus pitch coming at them, they struck out.

Kansas City took the Mike Mamula of the 2012 Draft. They took the Darius Heyward-Bey, the Combine freak who can’t play a lick. Ladies and gentlemen, Dontari Poe is a Kansas City Chief and their team is no better than they were prior to the draft. When looking at Poe’s strengths listed by ESPN as they searched for something to say about him other than he’s a “physical freak”, they gave us the golden nugget that Poe can apparently drop back in coverage. That’s just great. I can’t wait until we see our 350 lb. nose tackle dropping back into coverage. After watching his tape, he might as well drop back into coverage because he sure as hell doesn’t get any penetration. They then proceed to show what they deemed were “highlights” of Poe’s game tape and in every single play, he barely got off the ball and across the line of scrimmage. Any play he was involved in was due to the QB or RB running directly into him. Then to top it all off, they showed him bench pressing at the combine. Draft 101 says anytime they show the pick at the combine bench pressing it’s a bad sign. It’s like watching a movie trailer with Matthew McCounaghey shirtless…you know you’re in for a long evening (or season).  

Another good draft lesson I’ve learned is that you can tell how committed a guy is when you see what he’s wearing and how much bling he’s rocking. Picks 1 through 10 kept it classy for the most part with leather banded watches and some understated tie clips. Poe showed up and almost blinded the cameras with his iced out watch that could have doubled as the clock around Flavor Flave’s neck. Strike 2.  

Just to rub some more salt in the wound, Fletcher Cox went off the board next after Eagles CEO Jeffrey Lurie practically had to stop himself from giggling like a school girl at the notion that KC passed up on him for Poe. ESPN was kind enough to show Cox’s game tape and while sure he was physically dominating players and creating havoc, I bet can’t he drop into pass coverage as the scouting report says Poe can! I suppose it’s good to know that by drafting a NT, the Chiefs also shored up their secondary. Strike 3.

While I hope my analysis of this pick is wrong, I also know Dorsey and Jackson aren’t exactly the overachievers we want counseling Poe as a rookie. The Chiefs just enshrined themselves as having the best All-Bust Defensive Line in professional football. Pioli better have his moving company on speed dial.