Frankie C’s Excellent Super Bowl Adventure Day 5
By Frankie C
Cold Hard Football Facts Bon Vivant
For day 4 click here. For day 3 click here. For day 2 click here. For day 1 click here.
8 a.m. Outside of my middle-of-the-night-cap, I just slept for 12 straight hours. I jacked up my ankle last night and I can feel it. I’m having a hard time putting weight on it. I get my shoes on and struggle my way down to the curb for a smoke. By the time I get down there, I’m walking okay again. It’s like something had to get snapped back into place or something. I’m feeling downright frisky now. I’m supposed to go market Kerry out to the radio row folks today. I iron up my shirt and pants, take a shower and unleash the handsome. It’s stunning. I can barely look in the mirror without losing 10 minutes staring at my own gorgeous visage.
9 a.m. I’m down on radio row. It’s a circus down here. It’s wall to wall tables and cables. I stop by WEEI’s table and talk to Chachi, the producer of the morning show. I start with him because they love Kerry and I want to start with some success to build momentum. Chachi says he’s been emailing with Kerry and he’s already penned in for tomorrow morning. Well, so much for momentum. I decide to try the other Boston sports radio station. Over at their table, former Pats QB Scott Zolak and his co-host Andy Gresh are standing there getting ready to go on. I squeeze by some folks to get close enough to pitch getting Kerry on. As I approach, someone behind me knocks me into Zolak and I send his pricey sunglasses to the deck. Off to a bad start. I quickly grab the glasses and hand them back with an apology. I introduce myself to Gresh, who quickly dismisses me. He says they’re booked up. Well, now I’m 0 for 2 and I’m out of ideas to build momentum. I take a quick stroll around the room to see if there’s anyone else I can bother to try with, but my confidence is spent. On the bright side, wait, there is no bright side.
10 a.m. After realizing that showing up cold to get my guy on the radio isn’t going to be an effective strategy, I take myself to breakfast. At least there, I can talk to my girl Kami from yesterday. I get the buffet deal and opt to get an omelette. Back at the table, there’s no lovely Kami. There’s no lovely anyone. Well, there’s a guy serving my coffee and I’m sure someone finds him lovely.
10:45 a.m. I return to the room and explain to Kerry that I wasn’t able to line anything up. I start blogging it out. I’m still looking good though, and my ironing board desk is set up in front of a floor to ceiling mirror so I can’t get myself on a roll. Every time I look up, my mind runs through the same set of questions. 1. Oh my God, how beautiful! What is that? 2. Is that human or some kind of demi-God in my room? Then my puny human mind begins to decipher the beauty I’m seeing and I realize it’s just me.
11:00 a.m. Finally we’re arrived at an hour I can defend having a drink at the bar. To celebrate, I have 5, 2 shots and 3 beers. I’ve got lack of momentum to make up for.
12 p.m. I make it back to the room, and get back to blogging. I intentionally keep my eyes on the screen so as not to be distracted. We’re starting to make progress. Some days the blog just happens. Other days, it’s a chore. Today fits better into the latter category.
1 p.m. Kerry mentions he wants to check out a trendy area in town known as Broad Ripple. I’ve had enough of the hotel for awhile so I’m psyched. We set out. As we drive out of town, we pass a sh*tty little place called the 501 Eagle Bar. Kerry begs to pull over. I talk him out of it.
2 p.m. Indianapolis is famous for its fried pork tenderloin sandwiches. According to Kerry’s sources, the place that does it best is “Plump’s Last Shot” in Broad Ripple.
Owned by Bobby Plump, the name of the bar pays tribute to the state championship winning shot taken by, you guessed it, Bobby himself. That shot and subsequent championship provided the inspiration for the movie Hoosiers. As we pull up to the place, we score rock star parking right out in front. The neighborhood is thick with the smell of burning wood from the outdoor outfitter store next door.
Inside, we meet Katie, the bar manager. Katie explains the history of Bobby Plump and his winning shot. Katie’s a very friendly, attractive gal but unfortunately camera shy. We order up 2 signature sandwiches and some buffalo wings.
The wings are tasty. They’re heavy on the garlic but not particularly hot. Katie shows us to the back of the restaurant and we shoot a video about the making of the sandwiches starring the bar cook, Fred.
The sandwiches arrive at the table and they are amazing. They’re enormous. Each sandwich is about the size of a car hubcap. It covers the whole the whole tray it arrives in. Meanwhile it’s served on a typical hamburger roll which is dwarfed by the meat. I start by eating it from the outside in, breaking off pieces of meat that extend outside of the bun. The meat is tasty and juicy.
Katie sits with us during the meal, while I exhaust every last charming pick-up line I can think of. Finally she mentions her boyfriend and I send her away.
I can’t finish this food. I’m stuffed again. I haven’t partied the way I thought I might, but I’ve eaten like a king.
2 p.m. We’re all done at Plump’s. I’d say the trip was a success with the exception of Katie spurning my advances.
Right around the corner from Plump’s, sits the Broad Ripple Brew Pub. Since we’re in the neighborhood, we decide to drop in and sample the brew.
2:15 p.m. Sitting at the bar in the brew house we meet Kent, who after hearing my accent wants to be known as “Wicked Kent”. I try the homemade Extra Special Bitter beer. It’s a home run. Wicked Kent and I have an in-depth conversation about Katie from Plump’s and her prodigious rack. Apparently everyone around here knows each other and each other’s breasts.
To Kerry’s left is a total smoke show, named Jackie. My interest is piqued until Jackie lets slip that her mom is 45. I stop looking at Jackie.
3:15 p.m. We jump back into the truck and get back on the road to the hotel. I’ve still got my blog hanging over my head. I’ve got to get that banged out.
4:00 p.m. The drive back takes longer than the drive out. The traffic is thick near the hotel from the groups of fans hanging out to get autographs and pictures with the celebs and players spending time in here with the media.
4:10 p.m. I’m back at the bar. I’ve been going pretty hard since 11 a.m., I can’t see stopping now. I have a quick shot and a beer.
4:30 p.m. I’m blogging up in the room. I have to get this thing finished. It’s like giving birth.
6:30 p.m. Whew, day 4 is up and published. Now I can relax. Kerry and I decide to check out the sports bar downstairs. I arrive first and have a shot and a beer. Across the bar is Lavar Arrington, and his smoke show wife or girlfriend. It must be nice to be young, famous and wealthy. One day I hope I can find out what that’s like.
7:00 p.m. Kerry gets there and we have a long conversation with Gerry Callahan from WEEI. Gerry sticks around until he finds someone cooler to hang with. Right about then our man Bill makes the scene. We all have a couple beers together and people watch.
8 p.m. I’m banged up. I think I have a basic flaw in my technique here in Indy. I’m clearly starting too early. Tomorrow I’m not drinking until I go out for the evening and I’m not doing that until at least 8pm. I keep plugging away at my beer, but I’m fading in a hurry.
9 p.m. I’m pulling the plug. Kerry and I have to be down on radio row at 7:15 a.m. to do his spot in WEEI. I’m going to bed. I’ll catch you guys tomorrow.
For Day 6 of Frankie C's Excellent Super Bowl Adventure click here.