It's time once again for the college football awards, where this week we lament the soon-to-be end of the season and award the best (and worst) for another week.
Let's get started...
The "Touchdown Jesus" award goes to Notre Dame
And yes, we really should be careful of the religious overtones involved here, but when you find yourself running low on puns to use for awards, well, that's the risk you run. But we're quite sure here at the college football awards that if Jesus cared about football (which he more than likely doesn't. You know, a little busy with the whole "world is ending in 27 days" thing and all), that even he would appreciate the story that is Notre Dame's return to the top of the college football world. And besides, some people would say (but I never would), that they're going to be playing Satan itself when they face the SEC champion in the title game. Lou Holtz accepted this award on his former school's behalf, but not before making Mark May present to him dressed in a leprechaun costume.
The "once more, with feeling" award goes to UCLA and Stanford
That's great, Stanford. You beat UCLA to advance to the Pac-12 title game. Now,, all you have to do is beat UCLA AGAIN this week to win the Pac-12. The good news for the Cardinal and their fans, though, is that at least they will get to be the home team in the rematch. But since there's a trip to the Rose Bowl (the game, not the stadium these teams have played each other in already), on the line, we're guessing that neither David Shaw or Jim Mora are going to leave anything on the table. And hey, we may have already seen this movie, and you know what they say about sequels, but at least someone actually WANTS to win the Pac-12. Which is more than we can say for the conference that is about to be awarded next.
The "does any want the puppy in the window" award goes to the Big East
Yes, it is true that if Rutgers beats Louisville on Thursday night that they will win the Big East's automatic bid to the BCS, but that doesn't change the fact that there might well end up being a four-way tie for the actual conference title that would also involve Connecticut and Syracuse, and thus a whole host of headache-inducing tiebreakers would have to be implemented to decide their BCS representative if Louisville wins. Let's all pray that doesn't happen, just because there probably isn't enough headache powder in the world to cover it up. That's the main difference between the Big East and the proverbial puppy in the window: One's cute, cuddly, adorable and wanted by everyone. And then there's the Big East.
The "national semifinalists" award goes to Alabama & Georgia
Because, as hard as the BCS tries to over-complicate things, that's exactly what the Crimson Tide Bulldogs are, since things really are so simple now that the winner advances straight to the national title game against Notre Dame. And while a win would mean a lot to both teams, some teams probably have more incentive to win than others. Naturally, since Nick Saban is both a devil and also made a deal with THE devil, we're guessing Mark Richt and the Bulldogs should take advantage of this opportunity. When this award was presented, all that was heard in the awards hall was the insane cackling of the once thought to be dead SEC ghost, having now completely risen from the ashes most of us buried them in a couple of weeks ago.
The "college football awards' Heisman Trophy" award goes to Johnny Manziel
Will our voting mirror the voting of the "establishment" that will award the (supposedly) most prestigious award in college football? Who knows. We'd like to think, freshman or not, that "Johnny Football" has done enough exciting things to at least be considered. With his stiffest competition no doubt coming from the undefeated Irish's play-making linebacker Manti Te'o, it seems the "Heisman establishment" will likely have to do SOMETHING it doesn't want to do: give it to the freshman, or award it to a straight defensive player for the first time ever. If I had a vote (and, as I've mentioned a time or two, I don't), though, it would go to Manziel, even if all of us here at the college football awards might've been a little late to that party in the first place.
Read more: Lane, National, NCAA, Penn, Shaw, TBA, USC Trojans
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