The Cold, Hard Football Facts and publisher/Potentate of Pigskin Kerry J. Byrne dominated the 2009 Pro Football Writers of America writing awards announced this month, capturing more honors than any other outlet or writer in the country.
Byrne earned three individual awards, including first- and third-place honors in the enterprise reporting category, creating a Bloomberg News sandwich in the process. Hmm ... anybody else hungry?
"My mom says I'll never amount to anything if I don't leave the basement," said Byrne, taking a break at halftime of his super-troll-like effort to recreate the entire 1977 NFL season on Strat-O-Matic football
. "Guess I showed her, huh? Mom!!!
Where's my God-damned grilled cheese sandwich?!!?"
Yup, even in victory, he's still a douche.
Here's the entire list of PFWA winners, which covered the period from Super Bowl XLII in February 2008 through Super Bowl XLIII in February 2009.
1. Kerry J. Byrne, Cold, Hard Football Facts
: Epic all-time franchise rankings
2. Curtis Eichelberger, Bloomberg News: Everett Walks From Broken Neck Saved by Hypothermia Treatment
3t. Kerry J. Byrne, Cold, Hard Football Facts
: Upshaw, reconsidered
; and Randy Covitz, Kansas City Star: The Man in Black
1. Dennis Waszak, Associated Press: Jets lineman an inspiration to epileptics
3. Matt Crossman, The Sporting News: The amazing story behind Antonio Cromartie
1. Dave Weinberg, Press of Atlantic City: Birds go from bad to worse/Reid benches McNabb, but Kolb also flops in lopsided loss/36-7
2. Jarrett Bell, USA Today: Winning factor for Steelers? Poise
3. Bob McGinn, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: Hopes snatched away/Late-game collapse crushing (for Packers)
1. Greg Bedard, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: Devastated town begins healing with field
2. Jarrett Bell, USA Today: What's next for NFLPA/Sticking to Upshaw's plan
3t. Dennis Waszak, Associated Press: Jets' fade costs Mangini his job; and Dave Weinberg, Press of Atlantic City: Eagles coach Johnson has cancerous spine tumor
1. Tom Danyluk, Pro Football Weekly: Nothing artistic about Raiders' Week Nine debacle
2. Howard Balzer, Gridiron Gateway: Sunday Will Never Be the Same (Rams let Isaac Bruce leave)
3. Jim Corbett, USA Today: Ravens' ailing Brigance inspiring team's run