Here’s a look around Week 1 through the eyes of our new Cold, Hard Football Facts beat reporters. Interested in covering your favorite team for the Mighty CHFF? Send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
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Wild win for Jets over Cowboys
Rex Ryan has boasted that the Jets are a "ground and pound" team, but they ran a mere 16 times 45 yards in an otherwise thrilling 27-24 win over Dallas. Jets beat-down man Kennedy Ross says you couldn't pound a gram of Charlie Sheen’s breakfast-cocaine with those stats.
Eagles soar over Rams
Philly’s 31-13 win over the upstart Rams looks lopsided, but doesn’t tell the whole story, says Eagles beat man Ian Roderick. He says the Eagles still need to critical improvements to be live up to the Dream Team hype.
Donovan debut a dud for Vikings
Minnesota’s 34-year-old QB Donovan McNabb passed for just 39 yards in the team’s. “If your starting QB can barely pass for more yards than his age, it might be time to turn to the high-profile rookie on the bench, writes Vikings beat dude John “The Mighty” Quinn.
Cardinals outgun Panthers, dynamic Newton
The Cardinals and Panthers were the two worst teams in football last year, but produced a passing tour-de-force in Arizona’s 28-21 victory. Cardinals QB Kevin Kolb actually got the better of dynamic Carolina rookie Cam Newton in the Quality Stats that win and lose football games.
Dallas suffers a cartoonish collapse
With a cartoonish collapse in the fourth quarter, the Cowboys lose their season-opener to the New York Jets, 27-24. Cold, Hard Football Facts beat writer Adam Dobrowolski assesses the damage
Tampa suffers at hands of unruly house guest
Tampa invited Detroit over for Sunday dinner. Bucs beat man Erik Sabol says the Lions ended up stealing Tampa’s silverware and impregnating its daughter, with a 27-20 victory that we foretold this week in our real and spectacular picks and on SI.com.
Rams lose more than a game to Eagles
The Rams harbor dreams of competence in 2011. But St. Louis beat dude Patrick Imig says they lost a lot more than a game at home in Week 1.
Giants slapped by Skins
Giants beat reporter Mike Jacobson laments Washington’s 28-14 victory, saying the Redskins saying that Rex Grossman bitch-slapped the New York secondary as if he were Ike Turner, while resident cry baby Osi Umenyiora nursed a boo-boo.
Browns bow to Bungles, 27-17
Cleveland held a fourth-quarter lead, only to see the offense fade into the air like a Replica LeBron ring
at a Peoria Chiefs game, writes downtrodden Browns beat dude Adam Dobrowolski.
Tennessee’s day of new beginnings ends in familiar fashion
CHFF Titans reporter Steve Camp waxes poetic about how the more things change, the more they stay the same in the Music City, after a 16-14 to Luke McCown and the Jaguars. Chin up, Tennessee.