Some time ago, I was backpacking through Europe when I happened upon an old village. It was the type of place where it’s always foggy and long periods of eerie silence are always followed by someone jumping out and startling you. The people in the village thought that the old woman who lived in a straw hut by the moor was a witch, but, through my cunning, I was able to convince them otherwise. However, the woman really was a witch and, as a reward for saving her life, she gave me a crystal ball. She told me to only use the crystal ball in extreme circumstances as its power should not be abused. So, here are some “predictions” for the Packers in 2012-- guaranteed to come true since I used a magic crystal ball.
THE PACKERS CRUSH THE GIANTS TO OPEN THE 2012 SEASON
You know what they say, revenge is a dish best served cold. Well, revenge is also a dish best served cold with a side of cheese. While the home team has won the last nine season openers in a row, that’s about to change in a big way. A-Rod had two bad games last year and, sadly for Packers’ fans, the worse of the two came in the playoffs. Rodgers gets his revenge Week 1: Packers win 38-17.
(Also, I don’t care that the NFL schedule has yet to be released-- this will be the first game of the season.)
JAMES JONES HAS 1,000+ RECEIVING YARDS
Jones had 635 receiving yards in 2011 and was the Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde of the Packers’ WR corps. He had five games with over 50 yards and five games with fewer than 20 yards. He opened the season with three games without a touchdown, and then had three straight games with a TD. (Jones was a fantasy football manager’s worst nightmare.) Well, next season expect a lot more Jekyll and a lot less Hyde (or, should it be the reverse?) because #89 is about to have his best year yet.
THE PACKERS GO 16-0
AARON RODGERS THROWS A RECORD EIGHT TOUCHDOWNS IN A GAME
No one’s thrown seven TDs in a single game since Joe Kapp in 1969 (I remember that game like it was yesterday) and no on has ever thrown eight… that is until Aaron Rodgers does it this December on Monday Night Football against the Detroit Lions! It’s one of the most exciting games in NFL history, with Mathew Stafford passing for six TDs! Green Bay wins 62-54 in the highest scoring game in the history of the NFL.
The Packers get to play the two worst divisions in football: the AFC South and the NFC West. Also, two of the tougher opponents they’ll face, the Saints and 49ers, are home games. A slip up against the Chiefs ruined 16-0 in 2011, but there’s no such off game this year.
THE PACKERS LOSE THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME TO THE EAGLES
The Eagles, having bounced back in a big way after a disappointing 2011 season, pull off a major upset to beat the Packers 30-27 in the NFC Conference Championship. Aaron Rodgers performs up to par, but the Packers defense just can’t do enough to contain Michael Vick, who has one of the best games of his career.
So, there you have it, folks! Playoff revenge, James Jones, more records for Rodgers, 16-0, and another huge playoff disappointment. Get ready, Green Bay, it's gonna be a wild and crazy year.