16 Players You Should Know Before The Season Starts Part 2

By Eli Park
August 31, 2013 3:19 pm
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Dee MillinerI mentioned yesterday that our brains could use some rest (especially on Labor Day weekend).

NFL season starts in less than a week (God, I'm excited) but there's probably nothing worse than wearing your team's colors and forgetting what your favorite player's name is in a conversation during your lunch break.

Take this article as a recess ... you adorable fantasy football geeks.

1. Dee 9 Milliner Dollar Man, CB, New York Jets - We know the Jets' center is a Mangold, but ninth-pick overall cornerback from Millbrook, Alabama, is a team's million dollar man. (Dee Milliner)

2. Zach 'Studfeld', TE, New England Patriots - Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's new weapon on the field is a stud. (Zach Sudfeld)

3. 'Super Mario' Williams, DE, Buffalo Bills - Ah, feels like just yesterday when the Houston Texans selected 'Super' first overall in the 2006 NFL Draft -- over Reggie Bush from USC. (Mario Williams)

4. Cameron Wake Up and Smell the Coffee, DE, Miami Dolphins - At 31-years-old, the defensive end is never too late to sacking the dozing quarterbacks in the pocket. (Cameron Wake)

5. Coty 'Spider Sens'abaugh, CB, Tennessee Titans - A rookie in 2012, Sensabaugh contributed right away for the Titans, playing in all 16 games. With his Spider senses, his passes defended total (3) will increase in 2013. (Coty Sensabaugh)

6. CSIII, WR, Jacksonville Jaguars - We talked about RGIII way too much this year. There's other "thirds" in the NFL that could use a boost of confidence. (Cecil Shorts III)

7. DeAndre 'Leap'kins, WR, Houston Texans - It's a grind for rookie wide receivers but I see this man doing a little more than hopping up the depth chart. (DeAndre Hopkins)

8. Jeff 'Linked-in'bach, OT, Indianapolis Colts - Capable of playing both sides at his position, Linkenbach supplies his quarterback extra time to set their feet when his number is called. (Jeff Linkenbach)

9. Michael Huff, Puff and Bring the House Down, S, Baltimore Ravens - The former Oakland Raider wants to make a name for himself in Baltimore; who's Ed Reed again? (Michael Huff)

10. Paul 'Fred' Kruger, LB, Cleveland Browns - After a breakout season (9 sacks) with the Ravens, the Cleveland Browns brought in Kruger for five years to serve as a staple in Ray Horton's nightmarish 3-4 defense. (Paul Kruger)

11. Markus 'Wheaties' Wheaton, WR, Pittsburgh Steelers - Rookie wide receiver 'Wheaties' Wheaton will be a problem for opposing defense when he's fully familiarized with the Steelers' offense. (Markus Wheaton)

12. Geno Atkinson's, DT, Cincinnati Bengals - What offensive linemen protecting their quarterbacks suffer with for four hours. Defeat this dementia, or give up trying. (Geno Atkins

13. Rahim No Moore Excuses, FS, Denver Broncos - (see last season's playoff lost vs. the Ravens).  (Rahim Moore)

14. Flowers and Berries, Kansas City Chiefs Secondary - Don't judge a coverage by their last names, the Chiefs defense is a haunted graveyard in 2013. (Brandon FlowersEric Berry, Sean Smith, Kendrick Lewis)

15. How Much Wood Would a Woodson Chuck (Charles), If a Woodson Could Chuck Wood?, S, Oakland Raiders - The longtime Green Bay Packer is now playing in sweeter jersey colors. This reminds me of when the Raiders brought in Randy Moss ... minus the attitudal issues. (Charles Woodson)

16. Philip Cry Me a Rivers, QB, San Diego Chargers - Both quarterback and pop artist Justin Timberlake have bodies of waters in their last names, thought I'd put it out there. (Philip Rivers)

Who are your favorite players, and how do you address them when you're screaming at the TV on Sundays, Mondays or Thursday nights? Comment below or tweet them over @imDPerent.

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By Eli Park
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