Nick Altschuller

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Slack Lines, Super Bowl Edition: Reign Man
Most of the gang likes Seattle, but food poisoning won't stop Luke from being a contrarian. That, plus Predator, shocked Pomeranians and more.
Slack Lines, Conference Championships: QB or not QB?
The Slack Lines crew talks props, over/unders, and dishes out year-end awards. Meanwhile, Beau prays to the Almighty; Luke taunts the 12th Man; Matt honors Chip Kelly; Jerry fellates Cox; and Nick eagerly awaits beach volleyball season.
Slack Lines, Divisional Round: Mile High and Far Away
As our Futile Five tackles the Elite Eight, Beau gets Luke liquored up, Nick catches up on abstinence videos, and Jerry cries alone in the tub.
Slack Lines, Wild Card Weekend: New Year, Same Incompetence
The gang is in a New Year's haze. But what do expect when one writer owns a sports bar and the others enjoy a white wine spritzer or seven?
Slack Lines, Week 17: Things Fall Into Place or Pieces
The Slack Lines crew ends the year dividing successful gamblers from the degenerates (spoiler: there's no difference). Beau brainwashes his children, Nick reveals his Elf fetish, Jerry trademarks his shitty picks, Luke puts on red PJs and ruins Christmas and Matt admits his latent Romosexuality.

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