CHFF bon vivant Frankie C. is a former U.S. Marine turned cubicle-bound corporate worker ant who re-captures the thrill of amphivious invasions of Third-World sh*thholes through the thrill of competitive karaoke. His greatest accomplishments include an honorable mention in the 1981 Quincy Public Schools art show and a victory in the 2002 Red Parrot pub karaoke championship. Frankie wants everyone to like him not for his achievements, but for his marginal looks and borderline song and dance skills. His "Frankie Five" feature was recently named one of the 10 million most influential internet colums of the past 25 years. And, for the record, Frankie C. has never participated in an amphibious invasion of anything more daunting than his bathtub.